<<< Fear, Hate, Lies, Wait >>>

June 5th, 2020...I don't even know how to write in this journal right now. The country seems to be tearing itself apart. Fear, hate, rage, riots, lies, manipulation, chaos. Lord come back soon.

I've avoided writing because I don't have the time to put all my thoughts down on everything that's happen. But I don't want to put it off so long that I never write again. So let me suffice it to say that I can't help but think that the timing of everything happening is wildly suspect, given the election year.

Of course black lives matter. Of course they've had a harder time than most minorities historically. Of course I want that to change. Absolutely. Everyone deserves equal opportunity and access to tools and resource. I will do anything I can to help.

I understand the protests, but the rioting feels like another layer being triggered for deeper, more malicious purposes. The ragebait on social media is out of control.

Leaders in this country are unwilling to admit they were wrong, unwilling to take responsibility for it and move onwards. That applies to the COVID-19 situation as much as it does to the George Floyd fiasco.

Evidence is buried. Ignored. Alternate narratives are pushed harder and harder until the masses give up and just accept it. I'm just standing here like a deer on the highway wondering how this all happened around me.

I hope we see our way through it soon. I hope good, honest leaders step up somehow. I hope we can see a shred of integrity through this thing.

I want to speak up but don't know what to say, or who to say it to. So I write, and I love my children, and I wait.